Blueprint for Marriage - Two

Previously we found out that God's statement about marriage is found in Genesis 2:24. This statement directs husbands and wives to leave their fathers and mothers. What does that mean?

1. It does not mean that you abandon or utterly forsake them. (Note Exodus 21:12;
    Micah 7:9-13; I Timothy 5:8)
2. It does not mean you must move geographically.
3. It means your relationship to your parents must be changed by:
    a.  establishing an adult relationship with them;
    b.  being more concerned about your mate's ideas, opinions, and practices                 
         than  those of your  parents;
    c.  not being slavishly dependent upon your parents for affection, approval,            
         assistance and counsel;
    d. eliminating bad attitudes toward your parents or else you will be tied emotionally to
        them regardless of how far you move from them; and
    e. not trying to change your mate simply because your parents do not like him/her the
        way he/she is.
It means you are to make the husband/wife relationship your primary human relationship. Yes, we are to be concerned about our relationship with son/ daughter or father/mother, but primary relationship is husband/wife.


As parents, our goal should be to prepare our children to leave, not stay. Children kept at home so often become emotional cripples. On the other hand, we must be preparing ourselves for the day they leave by cultivating common interests and deepening our friendship with each other. Once they are gone, we must not try to run their lives but encourage our sons to accept responsibilities as head of the house, and teach our daughters to depend upon their husbands, not us, for guidance, help, companionship, and love.

 We are told in Scripture not to provoke our children to wrath lest the become discouraged. I believe when this happens children become bitter and the parent child relationship will be broken and the emotional crisis it creates for the children may effect them for the whole lives. There are four ways we can act that will be produce these results. They are:

    1.    Placing unreasonable demands upon them;
    2.    Giving them unreasonable punishment;
    3.    Exercising unreasonable control over them; and
    4.    Demonstrating an unloving attitude toward them.

Parents usually do this because they are more concerned about their own image and personal desires rather than what is best for their children.